Quite the Sordid Affair ...

You know, if I were a less talented writer, I’d be tempted to start this column with either a famous soap opera quote involving an hourglass or I’d make a sick joke only fans of Family Guy would be proud of.

But I’m better than that, so in theory, I should be able to come up with something more intelligent and witty. But … I can’t, so in order to not subject myself (or you guys) to the groan-worthy corniness that would be the above options, I’ll simply tell it like it is:

Erin Crocker and Ray Evernham did something bad. Something that just so happens to rhyme with “duck.”

For those who have no clue who the aforementioned are, here’s a primer:

Evernham currently owns a three-car Nextel Cup operation that houses drivers Kasey Kahne, Elliott Sadler and Scott Riggs. He was in front of Dodge’s return to NASCAR in 1999, and though he’s yet to win a championship as a car owner, he has visited Victory Lane numerous times.

Just not as often as he did in his old gig. From 1992 to 1999, Evernham was Jeff Gordon’s crew chief with Hendrick Motorsports. In that time, they won 47 races and three Cup championships.

Crocker is the first woman to win a World of Outlaws sprint car race, and was signed in 2004 by Evernham to compete in ARCA, Craftsman Truck, NASCAR Busch and NASCAR Nextel Cup Series races. On top of developing her skills as a driver – and partially cashing in on the hype surrounded by Danica Patrick in the IndyCar Series – Evernham began growing closer to his new driver.

They started dating. Evernham is 50; Crocker 26. She’s just one year older than me … and her boyfriend is old enough to be her father.

Let that sink in for a minute.

…

Right, moving on … when Evernham fired Cup driver Jeremy Mayfield last year for a “lack of performance,” I’m not convinced he was lying – Mayfield was indeed performing poorly in the No. 19 Dodge. But Mayfield was vocally against Evernham’s relationship with Crocker and said it would hurt both the team and Crocker’s career.

I didn’t believe Mayfield at the time, but after Evernham acknowledged the relationship publicly for the first time on Friday, I saw what was really going on … and how screwed up this whole thing was.

Is it any coincidence Evernham Motorsports is struggling this year? That Riggs needs to qualify on time every week, and Kahne and Sadler can’t run well or finish races this season? How about Crocker’s consistent inability to perform to expectations? She finished a measly 25 th in the Craftsman Truck points standings last season, and her performance had bumped her to the ARCA series while she splits time with PRN Radio and looking for a new team.

Both Evernham and Crocker realize how big a mistake the relationship was. They both say that for Crocker to have the kind of stock car career she wants, she needs to find a new team. In essence, it becomes a credibility issue. Evernham can talk her up to sponsors all he wants, but the fact that she’s his girlfriend is going to give a potential sponsor pause.

And the longer Crocker stays with Evernham – be it business or otherwise – the more her credibility suffers. People would wonder … does she have a ride because of her talent, or because she’s sleeping in boss man’s bed?

Oh, and did I mention Evernham’s old enough to be her father?!

Mayfield was right in saying what he did about the relationship Evernham and Crocker had; Evernham’s team is suffering, and in the process, he might’ve inadvertently ruined a promising – and pioneering – NASCAR career. The best thing for both parties is to split – professionally and personally – and go about their business. Evernham can work on getting his Dodges back to what they’re capable of – Kahne won five races last year – and Crocker can go about finding another ride and proving herself on the race track.

But they have to do this alone … together obviously hasn’t worked.

As if the battle for women on the race track isn’t hard enough, this sordid affair certainly can’t help matters.

Silver Lining in the Vick Case?

On the one hand, I'm not down with a Long Beach, Calif. minor-league baseball team's promotional campaign tomorrow. The campaign, called "Michael Vick Animal Awareness Day," seems to be taking advantage of a heartless act and turning a profit off of it.

But then I read what the promotion's all about, and I think it's one of the funniest and most creative promotional ideas ever.

For those too lazy to click the above link, fans who turn in Vick jerseys or t-shirts will get in for free on Sunday. Those jerseys will be used as pooper-scoopers for the dogs the fans can bring to the game.

In addition, there will be a ceremonial doggie first pitch, a doggie beatury contest, a weiner dog race, skateboarding bulldogs and doggie washes. And fans who donate toys or treats or abandoned and abused dogs will receive tickets to future Long Beach Armada games.

Considering what Vick's accused of doing -- running a dogfighting ring and killing dogs who either lost or weren't fit to fight -- this promotion fits perfectly. It shows support for opposing animal cruelty, it shows just what normal-thinking people think of Vick's alleged actions and it puts a nice twist on what would normally be a simple "Bring Your Dog to the Park" day.

My favorite part? Using Vick's jersey as a pooper-scooper. That right there makes this promotion a winner.

Dan Shannon, a assistant director of campaigns for PETA, calls the promotion "creative." When PETA -- an organization that once launched a "Got Beer?" campaign to claim that milking cows was cruel -- calls your move creative, you know you're on to something.

It's just another in a long line of protests against Vick and his alleged actions. PETA and the Humane Society are protesting; Nike and Reebok have pulled Vick products, as has NLFShop.com. Falcons fans are even turning their back on the embattled QB, and I can't help but wonder how Virginia Tech supporters feel about their beloved son now. Yeah, he made Hokie football nationally relavent, but what about now?

Kudos to the Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America including Barrow, Alaska (no lie, that's the team's official name). The team with such promotional deals as mother-in-law night and bald-guy night have come up with a creative -- if not somewhat in poor taste -- gig to raise awareness.

And just think, even if this is in poor taste, it's still better than electrocuting and drowning your pooch.

Allegedly.

Taking a Moment

Wake Forest men’s basketball coach Skip Prossel died Thursday afternoon, collapsing from an apparent heart attack after jogging. It’s possible this is the first some of you have heard about it, since today was Michael Vick’s arraignment and I’m fairly certain that dominated the headlines on ESPN through much of the afternoon and evening.

But Prossel’s death proves sudden and tragic – he was just 56, and ESPN.com’s Andy Katz instantly recalls talking to the man just 24 hours earlier … about their families, of all things.

I never knew Prossel personally; hell, until today, I wasn’t 100 percent certain how to spell his name. While Wake Forest has been on the college basketball map since I began following the sport a little over six years ago – undoubtedly a by-product of being in the ACC – I can’t say he was as prominent or visible as a Roy Williams or a Mike Krzyzewski, but Prossel was someone I saw quite often on the sidelines.

My first thought was back to Army women’s coach Maggie Dixon, who died suddenly just weeks after taking her team to its first NCAA tournament appearance. I thought of how her death shocked everyone in the college basketball world, and how I’d spoken to her just weeks earlier, seen first-hand that infectious smile of hers.

My second thought was that I have no personal stories to share of Prossel; just that I feel for his family and his team and his coaches and the entire Wake Forest community. So often colleges and universities are intertwined with their athletic programs – especially a school as small as Wake Forest. Just look at the football team’s run to an ACC title last season; the way that gripped the school was amazing.

So in that regard, I feel for Wake Forest. I think about how I would feel if one of Old Dominion’s coaches were to suddenly pass away. How it would feel to lose a member of the Monarch family, how it would feel to possibly lose someone I once dealt with on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

Considering how it hit a few years back when ODU athletics legend Bud Metheny died, I shudder to think of what it would be like. Much like I shudder to think what the Demon Deacon faithful are feeling today.

For today, power conference vs. mid-major conference doesn’t matter. We aren’t arguing over which team in the ACC is the best, or how many bids the league deserves in the tournament. We’re probably not even worried about what recruits are coming in and who might be the next to commit … because this is something that goes so much deeper than the sport Prossel coached.

If Prossel was anything like the other big-time college basketball coaches I’ve dealt with over the years – namely Williams, C. Vivien Stringer and Pat Summit – then I’m sure he was a delight, someone who’d just as gladly talk to you about your family as he would about hoops. I’m sorry I won’t get to meet him someday, and I feel for his team and those who follow it so closely.

Amid all the scandal and controversy, I say we pause for a moment to remember someone who was successful at his profession, someone who undoubtedly shaped lives and affected others for the better.

Rest in peace, Skip. I’ll be pulling for your Demon Deacons this year.

DEI still DEI -- even with merger

On the surface, Dale Earnhardt, Inc’s merger with Ginn Racing appears to be a move poised to help both organizations – Ginn with its financial troubles and giving DEI a direction to move in once its flagship driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., leaves at the end of the season.

But will it really make that big a difference? I’m not so sure.

Okay, so Mark Martin is competitive – sometimes stellar – when he runs in the Ginn-owned No. 01 Chevrolet, right? Sure, but what of Regan Smith, the rookie with whom Martin’s been splitting time? Or Aric Amirola, who Ginn signed away from Joe Gibbs Racing before the merger?

And since the company had to let go of Sterling Marlin and Joe Nemechek – two competitive if not underwhelming guys on the wrong side of 40 – in lieu of Paul Menard … suffice it to say, the situation barely looks any better than it did before.

Granted, Ginn is now in a better financial situation; DEI has three teams that are fully funded and sponsored. But competitively? DEI merged with Ginn partly to give Menard the owner points standing necessary to make the Nextel Cup field every week. NASCAR locks the top 35 in owner points in the field, leaving the remaining seven slots to be qualified for. Menard, in the DEI No. 15, struggled to make and finish races, and I’m not convinced that was all crew and equipment. So while he now makes the show every week – by virtue of him now occupying Nemechek’s owner points spot – I don’t see him performing any better.

Performance-wise, look for Earnhardt and Martin Truex, Jr. to be about where they are now. Earnhardt is 12 th in Nextel Cup standings, just in the Chase field. He needs to be consistent and competitive from here on out, which he has been, but he needs to shake the bad luck that’s befallen him since crew chief Tony Eury, Jr. returned from a six-race suspension.

Truex has come into his own this season, picking up his first Cup win at Dover and running consistently well ever since. Which is good, since he’ll probably be DEI’s flagship boy next season once Earnhardt moves to Hendrick Motorsports. But Truex isn’t experienced enough to run up front week in and week out among the more talented and dominant teams in the garage, and I’m not sure how he’ll handle being top dog.

We’re talking about a guy who’s been playing second-fiddle to Earnhardt since his Busch Series days.

Then there’s the whole issue of who drives the No. 8 – or whatever the number is – next season. We know it won’t be Earnhardt, but who will it be? Kyle Busch, who is unceremoniously being left in the cold by Hendrick – a guy who’s only purpose now is to keep the seat warm for Junior? Kasey Kahne, who’s shown flashes of being a premiere Nextel Cup talent but is mired in bad luck and horrible finishes this year? Greg Biffle, who’s almost as synonymous with Roush-Fenway Racing as Matt Kenseth?

Whoever it is, I still think DEI’s behind the proverbial eight ball, simply because competition-wise, the team is behind the big boys. While Hendrick, Roush, Gibbs and Richard Childress all work feverishly to run up front and acclimate themselves to the Car of Tomorrow, DEI is competitive at best. Even with Truex’s Dover win, DEI is a top-10 organization at best, and anyone thinking either Truex or Earnhardt has a legitimate shot at a championship this year is the definition of blind.

Unless and until DEI puts in the same money and resources the Hendricks and Gibbs of the world do – and unless owner Teresa Earnhardt starts acting like an actual owner, that’s not going to happen – that team is always going to be second-tier. And I don’t see this merger turning things around, because all this is … is a B-level team buying out a C-level team. Last I checked, averaging a B with a C doesn’t get you an A.

And I was in college for seven years, so I should know when it comes to grades.

Houston, You Have a Legend

Were it not for Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell, I might not know what the Houston Astros are. And at the end of this season, there might be a generation of baseball fans to suffer that very feat.

Biggio announced today that after this season, he will retire. Biggio has played 20 seasons, all with the Astros, and earlier this season collected his 3,000 th career hit.

He currently sits on 3,014, six shy of Rafael Palmeiro for 23 rd all time.

But for me, Biggio’s (and Bagwell’s) impact isn’t about the numbers or the career accomplishments. For me, it’s how they took a small-market franchise and made it relevant outside of the Houston area. Sure, one could argue Nolan Ryan did the same, but as young as I am, I only remember him as a Texas Ranger.

I’m a diehard Baltimore Orioles fan – have been since I was old enough to know what baseball was. I remember staying up late with my grandmother as a kid, watching Cal and Billy Ripken turn double plays. I should’ve been in bed, but instead I’d watch Eddie Murray and Mickey Tettleton belt home runs out of Memorial Stadium. I was wide-eyed as Mike Mussina, Jimmy Key and Scott Erickson tore up the American League en route to back-to-back ALCS appearances.

So for me, most of my baseball heroes are Orioles. But there are the rare few from other teams, players so good, so transcendent that a die-hard black-and-orange guy like me has to stop and go, “Wow, that’s just … wow.”

Ken Griffey, Jr. Kirby Puckett. Tony Gwynn. Frank Thomas.

Jeff Bagwell. Craig Biggio.

I’m not an Astros fan (if I had to pick a National League team, it would be the Nationals followed by the Braves), but I’ve long been a Biggio fan. His versatility – going from catcher to second base to center field then back to second base. When Enron Field/Minute Maid Park opened, everyone crowed about the hill in center, but Biggio navigated it like no one else. He could play wherever the manager asked him to, I’m convinced of this, and boy could he hit.

3,014 and counting.

But Biggio’s work ethic, more than anything, is what I admire. I remember fondly when Cal broke Lou Gehrig’s consecutive games played streak. 2,632 is a mark that will forever stand, because guys just don’t go out there and play every single day anymore. They come out in late innings of blowouts, they take off day games after night games. They rest for sore ankles, tired arms.

But not Biggio. The only way he missed a game was if he was truly, genuinely hurt, and every time he was on the field he gave it everything he had. Hit No. 3,000 was a perfect example; yeah, he was gunned down trying to stretch a single into a double, but the hustle and give-100-percent cliché we lament in sports was there, like it had been the first 19 years of this man’s career.

If I had a vote for the Hall of Fame, I’d put Biggio in. First ballot, without a second thought. He was just that good, but more importantly, he represented everything that was good about baseball. And in an era where we’re so fixated on what’s wrong with baseball, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to put in a guy who epitomized the best of the game.

Let everyone argue and bicker over Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds. I’ll take guys like Ripken and Craig Biggio.

So You Want to be a Professional Sports League Commissioner

How pathetic is it that Gary Bettman looks pretty good right now?

Think about it: over the past week or two, the national sports world hasn’t even so much as whispered the NHL commissioner’s name, but everywhere we turn, there sit Bud Selig, Roger Goodell and David Stern.

Granted, the NHL hasn’t had a huge scandalous story unfold in the past week – the most hockey’s had to deal with since the Stanley Cup finals wrapped up was Jeremy Roenick’s retirement-only-not-so-much. But if I’m Bettman, I’m relishing in the obscurity, because ever since the lockout started, I’ve been beaten and berated and made fun of.

Bettman’s been more of a punchline than the MLS.

For the two or three that have been vacationing in Antarctica, let’s examine what makes Selig, Goodell and Stern’s lives living hell right now.

Selig is, by all accounts, still undecided about being present when Barry Bonds hits career home runs No. 755 and 756. Part of it’s probably his loyalty to close friend Hank Aaron, who just so happens to hold what many consider sports’ most prestigious record. Part of it could also be the fact that Bonds is an unsavory person (polite sports writing term for “bastard”).

But mostly it’s the accusations surrounding Bonds. Performance enhancers, a grand jury trying to indict him on perjury charges. Do I think Bonds took steroids? Most likely, but he sure as hell wasn’t the only one. In fact, how many juiced-up pitchers did Bonds hit homers off of? Baseball has been testing for steroids for about two years now, and most of the guys who’ve been caught so far have been pitchers.

And this doesn’t even count HGH, which baseball doesn’t test for.

Regardless of whether Bonds cheated to get his home runs, Selig has a responsibility – to his position as commissioner and to the game of baseball – to be there. I’m not saying you throw confetti and do a little dance as Bonds crosses home plate, but you go to the game, you watch the historic feat and you acknowledge it. Because as guilty as the players are for juicing, the owners and you, Selig, are just as culpable because you sat there and let it happen.

To not be present when Bonds hits No. 756 is hypocritical and it ranks right up there with the All-Star Game tie as the worst decision has ever made.

(In the interest of fairness ... ESPN. com just reported Selig will be in attendance for the Giants game tonight against the Braves and will try to be in attendance for future games. "Out of respect for the tradition of this game, the magnitude of the record, and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, I will attend Barry Bonds' next games to observe his potential tying and breaking of the home run record, subject to my commitments to the Hall of Fame this weekend. I will make an additional statement when the record is tied," Selig said in a statement.

So he's not such a moron after all ... at least, not in this instance. Good to know.)

Goodell has taken a hard line against problem players since taking over for Paul Tagliabue – just ask Pacman Jones, Chris Henry and Tank Johnson. But when a federal grand jury indicted Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick last week on dogfighting allegations, Goodell was put in a pickle.

Keep with the precedent already set and suspend one of the league’s most visible players, or let Vick have his due process because legally, he wasn’t the perpetual offender Jones, Henry and Johnson were?

Not a decision I’d want to make, that’s for sure.

Goodell didn’t suspend Vick, but he did tell him not to attend training camp (the first day of which just so happens to coincide with Vick’s arraignment hearing in a Richmond, Va. courthouse). That sort of thing is usually a breach of contract, but since Goodell told him to do it, Vick is not in breach of his agreement with the Falcons and he’ll still get paid.

I agree with this move; it lets Vick have his due process (I’m sure as hell not about to sit here, go through the charges and pronounce whether or not I think he’s guilty) while alleviating the media circus the Falcons would be subjected to if Vick were allowed with the team.

Think about it: if Vick were to go to camp, everything else is immediately on the backburner; new coach Bobby Petrino has to answer dogfighting questions instead of talking about the offense he’s installing. Rather than talk about trying to find another team and a fresh start, Joey Harrington has to talk about whether Vick’s troubles mean he’ll be the starter come Week One. Granted, they’ll be talking about Vick regardless, but it would be 100 times worse if the star were there.

That’s not the way to start an NFL campaign. Let Vick have his money, and let him deal with the problems he’s facing – away from the team. That way both Vick and the Atlanta Falcons can do what they need to do.

But Stern by far faces the worst scenario of the three. Whereas Selig and Goodell have to worry about one issue facing one guy, Stern could find his entire league in question. Which kinda happens when the FBI starts looking at one of your referees about gambling and possible point shaving.

Conspiracy theorists already gripe about NBA officiating, convinced refs are on the take and the on-court results are manipulated just right so the NBA can get the best postseason matchups it can. But after the revelation that Tim Donaghy resigned his post as NBA referee amid these allegations threatens to rock the foundation of Stern’s league.

Stern is serious about his league’s public image – so much so he instituted an asinine and unnecessary dress code (what is this, high school all over again?). So much so he called these allegations “the worst scenario” his league has ever faced in a press conference early Tuesday. So imagine how he feels about an official possibly making calls on the floor to affect point spreads so he could cash in on his bets and – perhaps most disturbing of all – pay his debt to the mob.

And what if Donaghy’s not the only one? If he is, then maybe the NBA can eventually get past this and we’ll all just chalk it up to one bad egg in the basket. But if a few refs are involved, or worse, players? The NBA is potentially doomed.

Selig only has to deal with Bonds and the unfortunate reality that a perceived cheater is going to own his sport’s most hallowed record. Goodell only has to deal with a star player who’s being accused of horrible, disgusting acts of animal cruelty. Stern is dealing with a situation that could crawl through the roots of the league, and leave everyone wondering for the next couple years, “Was that call legit, or is the ref on the take with someone somewhere?”

It’s a horrible situation to be in, and if I’m Stern, I’m hoping against all odds that Donaghy is the only one doing this. But if Donaghy is prepared to name names – as rumors are suggesting he might – I’m not convinced he’s alone in this.

First Joey Crawford, now Tim Donaghy. I don’t envy Stern right now. Not one bit.

Now Bettman, on the other hand …